Why We Fail (Part 1)

Failure precedes Success.

This can be a controversial statement but if we look at successful people, each one of them has failed. Some of them were even considered huge failures and in capable of doing anything successfully. They transformed their failure into success. Success does not come to us the first time we try anything. Success is the result of our mental strength to keep going at what we desire till we get it right

When we are confronted with failure the first thing, we see are all the negatives associated with the failure and the reaction “others” will have with our failure. We completely overlook the benefits. If we do not look at the positive aspects of failure and if we do not change the way we look at our learnings, then our failure has the ability to destroy us

Let us examine some of the reasons we fail and how we can develop coping strategies for these failures.

We fail because we are afraid to fail

No one likes to fail. Failure paralyses us. Very often we are so afraid of failing that we are not even willing to try.

As the old saying goes, “Trying and failing is better than not trying at all”. We should never be afraid to try. Failure is the result of trying. Imagine a world where no one tries anything because no one wants to fail! No one will succeed. Success will come, one step at a time. Failure is not designed to set us up or to punish us.

Progress can only be made when we try. The turtle can never make progress if he does not stick his neck out. There is always a reason that justifies inaction. We must not let our fear of failure, rejection or change confine us within the boundaries of our comfort zone.

We fail because we do not plan or define our objectives and purpose clearly

If we do not have a proper plan, we are less likely to succeed in life. It does not matter whether our plan is right or complete. A plan helps us to put clear milestones so that we can evaluate our own progress.

There are many people I have met who say that the reason they want to start a business is to make money. This is a dangerous objective. Businesses need to be built because of their inherent strength. Money or valuation is an outcome of a successful business.

Similarly, we need a clear purpose. To succeed, we need to be clear about our life purpose and job purpose. On a micro level, it is good to have a purpose for the week ahead. This will help us to define a few important tasks in the next seven days.

We fail because we are afraid of making bold moves

If we want to do something different. To stand out from the others. To achieve the impossible. We have to be comfortable in being different from the others. Going with pack is not an option when it comes to looking for unique success. The advantage of going with the pack is that we will reach the same place that everyone else is in. We need to be independent and confident of our thoughts and objectives. We need to be able to accept criticism from those dearest to us. If not, we will not make it very far.

We fail because we are not persistent, and we give up too soon

We fail because we give up. Giving up automatically leads to failure. A lot of us give up before we achieve what we set out to do. We can be talented and intelligent. But if talent and intelligence are not combined with persistence, they are of no use.

This could be because of frustration, anxiety, diversion of attention or in the case of a businessmen, because of shortage of resources. Nothing comes easy. We need to keep persisting. Successful people have a strong track record of persistence behind them.

It will always be more comfortable to simply give up when the going gets tough. Giving up spares us a lot of trouble, hard work and pain. But it also takes our chance to succeed.

We fail because of a refusal to learn from our mistakes and destructive thinking

Unsuccessful people are deeply hurt by their mistakes and failures. As a result, they do everything they can to quickly forget these painful experiences. The problem with this attitude is that doing so also loses the important lessons and insights that come with these mistakes.

We cannot wish away our mistakes. They are our biggest teacher. Analyse what went wrong. Re-think the strategy. Challenge ourselves to develop a better plan for the future.

We fail because we want too much too soon, resulting in stress

We like to achieve everything very quickly, knowing well that there is no magic wand for success. Once we start out on the task, we realise how many challenges there will be and this can be very intimidating. This results in stress and the desire to abandon the task or give up. There is no harm in achieving high as long we are willing to recognise the effort that we need to put in to reach there.

No one is responsible for our stress other than ourselves. Stress kills our dreams, our happiness, our performance, and shortens our lifespan. We must learn to manage our stress by using various tools including meditation.

We fail because of a lack of humility

Humility is considered by many successful individuals as an important key to success. Some even consider it to be vital for success. Humble people are more likely to be high performers. Humility helps us to assess, realistically our strengths, weaknesses and limitations. It will also help us to realize that there are many things we do not know.

Humility could be is the missing ingredient between successful people and not so successful people. We have won a fight but we cannot claim to have become an expert in the art of war.

Remember the old line “if you do not blow your own trumpet, no one else will blow it for you?” I had learned this early in my life. It was a few years later that I understood the corollary to this. “Do not blow your trumpet so loudly that it starts to hurt other people’s ears!”

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The author is a CEO Coach, a Storyteller and an Angel Investor. He hosts the highly successful podcast titled The Brand Called You. A keen political observer and commentator, he is also the founder Chairman of Guardian Pharmacies. He is the author of 8 best-selling books and writes for several online newspapers.

Watch and listen to our podcasts at www.tbcy.in | www.equationcoaching.com

• Twitter: @gargashutosh
• Instagram: ashutoshgarg56
• Blog: ashutoshgargin.wordpress.com | ashutoshgarg56.blogspot.com

 

New Year Resolutions for Seniors

 

The New Year is around the corner and it is time for thinking of those resolutions again! Whether you resolve to be fitter and healthier, connect more socially or to tick off some points on your bucket list, this is a time to take stock of the year gone by and to think of the year ahead. Covid has taken more than it fair share of our time and energy and we have learned to understand the new normal.

Given below are some thoughts and you could consider adding to your list of New Year resolutions.

Eat better for your Health

Take your health into your hands. Change your eating pattern. Take baby steps toward eating right. After all, if you have been careless with your food habits, you cannot change these overnight.

Less fats, more fibre with a healthier mix of fruits, vegetables and nuts is always advisable for most people. As seniors, it becomes even more important and relevant for us to regulate our diet. As some wise people say, “stop eating just before you are full!” Others say that at least half of your plate should be fruits and vegetable. Remember that eating better is the only answer to reducing your weight.

Find a New, Healthy Activity

Build exercise or yoga into your daily routine. A round of tennis or golf, a brisk walk for at least 30 minutes every day (150 minutes per week of walking is the minimum recommended), yogic breathing exercises, swimming or cycling would be great to get into your daily schedule. I have met several seniors who have started running and competing with people of their own age. In the process of staying fit, they have also found a whole new community of like-minded and passionate friends.

Complete some points in your Bucket List

Give yourself a break. You have earned this. Over the years, all of us have been adding to our bucket list. This list has kept getting longer since we were not able to find the time during our work life. Now is the time to start ticking off some items.

Connect More with Friends and Family

Re-establish old connections that you lost while you were busy at work. Don’t wait for someone else to take the first step. It is interesting to see how many people are rediscovering their old school and college friends using Facebook and LinkedIn. 

Weekly lunches or coffee mornings with a group of friends, WhatsApp or Zoom calls with your family members spread across the World are great ways of re-connecting. Time spent talking and laughing with those that mean the most is time well spent.

Reduce your belongings

Resolve to clean out your closets and your home. Think of the difference between “want” and “need” before you start this exercise. Keep things you need and give away those you want. This may sound philosophical but try and give away whatever you have not used for the past one year. Your challenge will always be “what if” you suddenly need the item again. If you decide to give it away, keep this as an active resolution till the next year and then assess whether you felt the need for the items you gave away. Chances are that you will never miss these items.

Brush Up on New Technology

Technology, as you are well aware, is changing our World. You should have understood the many forms of communication and connection through Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Instagram, YouTube and so many others it is time to do so now. Now is the time to get a working understanding of the Metaverse and the Internet of Things, Crypto, Artificial Intelligence and more. To brush-up your own knowledge and skills, there are on-line tutorials for every possible question that you may have.

Tell Your Story

Now is the time to tell your story. Write your blog and publish it on a weekly or monthly basis. Think of all the anecdotes in your life, the milestones in your career and the time you spent as a child and your parents and your extended family and store these memories carefully in writing. Not only will this record your own memories and thoughts, but this could also become a record of your family history for the future generations.

Give your brain a workout

The more you exercise your brain, like your body, the stronger it will be. Read more and beyond your daily newspaper. Join or start discussion groups on subjects that interest you. Try Sudoku, Chess, Quiz Up or Scrabble. All these games are available free on your smart phone. Play online with people you do not know and compete with the best.

Remove negativity and anxiety from your life

Life is too short and at our stage in life, we are already on the “back nine” of a round of golf! Now is the time to remove all the negativity we have carried inside us about family, friends, and the World in general. All this negativity is only hurting ourselves.

Get enough sleep

Most people seem to believe in a myth that as you get older you need lesser sleep. Nothing is farther away from the truth. If you are sleeping late or getting up very early, stay in bed longer than you normally would have and soon you will be sleeping longer and waking up much more rested.

Get regular medical check-ups

Monitor, manage and record your blood pressure, your blood sugar, and your weight in a regular systematic manner. If you don’t have any of these challenges, consider yourself blessed. It is necessary for you to get annual medical check-ups done and if you did not get a checkup this year, resolve to undergo a comprehensive check up in the New Year.

Travel and discover new places

Throughout your working life you would have wanted to see new places but did not have the time either because of work commitments or family commitments. Covid permitting, now is the time for you to realise all those dreams. You and your partner can travel to new cities or new countries or even discover new parts of the city you live in.

Finally, as you celebrate during this festive season with your loved ones, raise a toast to the coming year, but with a smaller glass!

The runway is getting shorter with each passing year. This is a cause for celebration and not despair.

Wish you a very Happy, Healthy and Prosperous New Year.

 

Anti-Ageing

 

If your aim is to be lively and robust in your old age, you will need to learn some anti-ageing secrets that focus on the mind, body and spirit. Your body is an integrated whole. There are many aspects of a healthy life that rely on each other. Crush the spirit and the body will follow. Stimulate the mind and your mood will lighten. Exercise the body and your mind will be sharper. In many ways, these anti-ageing tips are interdependent.

It is widely acknowledged that your genes play a major role in your health but then you cannot choose your parents. But you must understand that you don’t need to be a slave to your family’s past. It is my belief that every human being must accept the ageing process and gracefully accept your age. We have all come across so many people whose body shows their age but they try to conceal it with ill-fitting clothes and mask their faces with heavy make-up!

Anti-ageing should be for your mind, body and spirit. There is no point in having a youthful body with an old person’s mind living in the past and a flagging spirit!

I am giving below some well accepted ways to handle the ageing process in your body:

Stimulate your brain – It is one thing to live a long life, but if you want to live a long and vibrant life, you are going to need a vibrant and sharp mind. The brain, like the rest of the body, needs exercise to avoid becoming sluggish and even disease-ridden.

The brain needs to be challenged to keep the neurological pathways open. Learn a new language, read, keep yourself busy, admire nature, relish smells and sounds of your surroundings. The younger you keep your mind, the younger your body and your whole being will become.

The old adage "use it or you'll lose it" has relevance when it comes to your mind.

Eat Well - More has been written about eating well than can be absorbed by anyone. Foods that are good today don’t seem to find favour a few years later and vice versa leaving readers confused and confounded. When I was a young adult, I was told that eggs were bad for cholesterol. Today I am told that eggs are good for you. As I discussed with people, I was told that red meat was better than chicken now and that pooris were better than parathas. Is all this cyclical and based entirely on food lobbies in the world?

Based on all the reading that most retirees would have done over the years, we would know that oily foods are not good, too much sweet should be avoided, food with roughage or high fibre is good and one should not eat carbohydrates after 7 pm. Our bodies also give us a clear signal when we don’t eat right.

The best way to plan to get a well-balanced diet is to go to a nutritionist or a dietician.

Exercise – I have stated in several places in this book that exercise is critical for managing our body, especially as we get older. Hundreds of studies show that exercise combats the loss of stamina, muscle strength, balance and bone density that increases with age.

In addition to working out, walking or swimming for 35 – 40 minutes at least 3 times a week, it is good to do some light weights to tone up your muscles.

Exercise must be blend to handle a cardio vascular work out combined with some muscle strengthening.

Maximise your intake of antioxidants - Free radicals contribute to the onset of age-related diseases, and antioxidants neutralize free. Everyone should take a combination of antioxidants through diet and supplementation.

Antioxidants can be increased in your diet by increasing the intake of dark-coloured vegetables like tomatoes, carrots and spinach. Alternately, take a food supplement because we don’t always eat what is good for us and often the soil in which our food grows has been denuded of the resources our food should normally have.

“I always tell people that taking antioxidants is like driving with a seatbelt” says Blumberg, an authority on the subject “They can protect your life, but they are not a license to drive recklessly.”

Sleep - Research shows that if you sleep less than six hours a night, you are at far greater risk of having a heart attack or experiencing a stroke. What's more, your mind seems to deteriorate at a faster pace.

On an emotional level, a lack of sleep makes you less peaceful and more prone to anger. Sicknesses related to viral infections are also more prevalent among people lacking proper rest.

I have met many people who have trouble sleeping. They take the easy way out and ask their doctors to prescribe sleeping aids and what is surprising is that doctors have no hesitation in prescribing these. All such aids are addictive and getting back to a natural sleep will prove to be a huge challenge once your body gets “addicted” to an external sleeping stimulus. It is best to try and meditate to sleep rather than rely on external aids.

If you have specific concerns about ageing, ask your doctor about proven ways to improve your health. Remember, healthy lifestyle choices such as eating a healthy diet and including physical activity in your daily routine can help you feel your best as you get older. 

And finally, while these are all tools to slow down your ageing process, remember that nature is the biggest doctor for your age. If your body is fit, well exercised and free of any major disease, accept the process of ageing gracefully. There is much more to look forward to in life as you move towards retirement than simply a body that looks twenty years younger but feels much older!

As Mark Twain has said, “Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter!”

Planning for Retirement

 

Retirement has nothing to do with you or your competence. It is an event which is the result of the policies of your employer and this is an inevitable stage in all our lives. It is estimated that the population of 60 year olds in the World will cross 1 billion by the end this decade. India will have over 100 million seniors

Each one of us is unique and will have our own suite of needs, experiences, personal and family circumstances, financial needs and personal health. So why don’t we want to plan for this next important phase of our life carefully and well in advance of the date of superannuation? It is important for each one of us to consider the following thoughts as we plan our retirement. These are merely pointers and by no means a comprehensive solution to the challenges we are likely to face in our retired life.

Acceptance of the New Normal and No Self-pity

The single biggest challenge I have seen that retirees face is internal acceptance that they have reached the age of retirement. Till you accept this stage of life happily, you will always be unhappy and possibly angry for not having been given the time to achieve all that you may have set out to achieve. You could be angry because you started work later than others and therefore got your due later than others or had a shorter working life. You could also slip into a very convenient mode of acceptance of self-pity.

I have met so many retirees who preface their venting with the words “If only” and I tell them “Why blame the World and everyone else for a retirement event that you have no control over? The quicker you accept that you have retired or are about to retire, the faster you will adjust to your new life”.

Social Networks and Technology 

There is a whole new world waiting for us in the world of social media and technology. According to the Pew Research Centre, Internet use among those 60 and older grew 150 percent between 2009 and 2011, the largest growth in a demographic group. Furthermore, their study showed that of those that go online, 71 percent do so daily and 34 percent use social media. Their numbers have increased very significantly since this research. The seniors use these tools to bridge the geographic gap between them and their loved ones far away and as a way to re-connect with friends. Studies show that the internet has become an important portal for reducing isolation and loneliness.

The “seniors” are taking to social media like a fish to water discovering school and college friends like never before. Well beyond our normal Facebook page and our posting of the occasional photograph and sometimes hitting the “like” button. Skype and WhatsApp groups are overflowing with forwarded and re-forwarded messages. More savvy seniors are on Instagram and discovering a whole new world.

For many of us who believed that we had no time to learn social media because of work related time pressures, retirement is an excellent time to make this transition. Remember that when we started work three decades ago, computers were new and we had to learn this new tool as well! My 87 year old father stayed in regular touch with his grandchildren using various social media platforms.

Start a social group with like-minded people in areas that you like and you will soon discover many new friends.

Management of Expectations

We have to recognize one blunt truth. Our lives will change once we retire. There is no point in hanging on to memories. Even these will change over time. How we manage this change is entirely dependent on us. We need to understand our own reality and we need to deal with this reality.

Management of our expectations post retirement goes well beyond managing our finances. While money is always a critical component, disappointments of retired life often go beyond financial security. I have met many retirees who are disappointed that they have not planned their time well or they have not cultivated any hobbies or have not built a circle of friends beyond their work colleagues or have lost contact with family members.

To these people I say that it is never too late to start. Remember that you are looking at the next three decades of your life ahead of you.

Establish a new Routine for yourself

Most of us have been used to a routine that has been developed in our working life. As most of us reach the age of superannuation our children will not demand much time since they would have started their own lives. Our spouses will have accepted our companionship rather than demanding our time. Our routine would have been evolved based on spending long hours at the office and spending more client facing hours. As we retire, we are not able to figure out how to manage all the surplus time that we have.

The change, therefore, when we retire is very significant. We will suddenly have most of our waking hours to account for and use gainfully. In order to achieve this new normal sensibly, we need to work out a routine and follow it assiduously. Some people I know have actually got their routine logged into their Outlook calendar and follow it carefully. Too much of any one activity is not sustainable and therefore we will have to develop of blend of routines covering a multitude of activities.

Leisure

Most of us are so used to working long hours at work that we almost feel guilty when we think of leisure. Therefore, when we look at retirement as a time for leisure, we miscalculate or underestimate that this can be a time of fulfilment.

Take out your “bucket list” and start working on it. If you have not prepared one, now is the time to start listing out everything you have always wanted to do but did not have the time to do.

Watch all those movies and television serials that you did not have time for. Try out all those new restaurants and cuisines. Develop new skills. There are hundreds of options available and if this involves you taking some educational courses, so be it.

Travelling today is easier and much more affordable than when we started working in the seventies or eighties. If you can afford it, travel to places within your country or the World. Plan to travel to places that you have always dreamt of but were not able to go to.

In your retirement, your leisure is real and well-earned after three decades of working. Retirement needs effort and the earlier you start making this effort the happier you will be. For you, moving forward in your new life as a retiree, the World must know no boundaries.

Planned well, you may suddenly realise that your retirement will become a busiest phase of your life, much more than you had imagined.

It is Okay to Fail

Failure - A word that has many different meanings, many different connotations and many different interpretations. Failure is used for individuals, organisations, products, experiences and actions.

Failure and Success are two sides of the same coin.

Both are relative to one another. One person can be seen to have failed because they did not succeed. Another person can be seen to have succeeded because they did not fail. With understanding failure and putting it into context, success means nothing. Success has to be in relation to someone or something else. We have succeeded because another person did not succeed or failed.

Failure is understood and interpreted in different ways by people who are faced with failure and by those who know the individual. It is handled in different ways by the person who is faced with failure. Failure is analysed by people who observe and comment upon the person who has failed.

We say that failure is painful and that it causes emotional turmoil and upset, and inflicts agonizing pangs of guilt, regret, and remorse. But those who have experienced true failure, and have bounced back from it, understand that failure is necessary for success. Yes of course, failing hurts. In fact, it cuts deep like a razor, slicing its way to our inner core. Yet, it is necessary.

Very seldom has anyone attempted to get to understand the reason for failure or the impact of failure.

No one thinks of the impact on the person who has failed or is likely to fail. Everyone observing the failure is quick to pass judgement on the failure and the person who has failed. Everyone has a reason, their own interpretation, of why the failure has happened.

I have often wondered why Indian parents are so ambitious for their children and what is it that we are always trying to achieve through our children? Is it our own unachieved ambitions or is it a genuine desire to see our children succeed and prosper in the very competitive environment that is so prevalent in our country? What prompts us to first determine that some jobs are good and what empowers us as parents to decide what we think is good for our children?

Parents have a big role to play. Most parents from the developing World teach their children the importance to “win”. They want us to come “first” in class. To be at the front of the pack. To get ahead. All this without considering the impact this would have on the thinking of their children. My parents told me this and I told the same to my sons. As I look back, I know this was a mistake.

This repeated reinforcement by our parents and elders manifests itself into our behaviour patterns in society.

The oldest and strongest emotion of human beings is fear, and the oldest and strongest kind of fear is fear of the unknown. Have we ever wondered why all of us seem to have an identical set of values when it comes to looking at ourselves in similar situations? Is this behaviour happening because of our fear of failure?

We love Success! Nobody wishes to fail. We are embarrassed even if we commit a silly mistake.

We can relate with stories of success from our scriptures. Stories of the triumph of good over evil in the Ramayana. Stories of The Mahabharata, where Lord Krishna asks Arjun to fight and win the battle because that is his duty. Stories from the Bible of David and Goliath, Moses parting the Red Sea and the legend of Saint John slaying the Dragon.

We never remember stories of failures or disasters. There are plenty. We do not remember the villains in these scriptures. There are many.

We expect success from ourselves and from others. We celebrate success. We strive for success. We encourage one another towards success. We hold success in high regard. Our entire mind-set is wired towards success which is the goal. We are constantly bombarded with ideas about success. Our movies glorify success and generally have a happily ever after fairy tale like ending.

Our bookshelves are filled with magazines, journals and writings on 'How to be Successful', 'Keys to Success,' 'Secrets of Successful People,' and so on.

I am not suggesting that pursuing success is a wrong. Success is good. However, focusing only on success is incomplete if we do not talk about failure and how to face it.

Nobody wants to talk about failure. We do not like failure. We hate it so much that we even scorn those who fail. Even worse, we tend to dislike ourselves when we fail.

Failure is a part of life and everyone has faced failure. The manner in which each person handles failure is different.

Failure is and always will be unexpected, unavoidable, uncomfortable and universal. We need to understand how to face it. More importantly, we must understand how we can use failure as a force of change.

Do not fear failure so much that you refuse to try new things. 

I have often said that we must not reach the end of our life’s journey with three regrets.

1.    I could have done this, but I did not.

2.    I might have done this, but I did not.

3.    I should have done this, but I did not.

We must remember that sorrow is a part of everyone’s life but the bigger blessing we have is that we have the strength and ability to forget our sorrows and move on.

The same applies to failure.

Failure must be a teacher for each one of us. And we must be grateful to this teacher. As someone commented “Failure is a comma, not a full stop”. This too shall pass.

At the same time, we must remember that repeated failure is not acceptable. Failure cannot be a romantic notion.

“To err is human, but if the eraser wears out before the pencil, you are overdoing it.”

The Maharaja’s Frequent Flyer programme

 

As a very long-time user of the Air India frequent flyer program it is frustrating to see that nothing has changed over the last decade either in terms of customer service or redemption.

It is interesting to see how aggressively the Maharaja and their employees promote their frequent flyer program. They have also tied up with credit card companies which enable customers to earn additional miles by using their Co-branded credit cards.

Almost everyone I know saves their miles for holidays. It is an established fact that passengers select an airline to accumulate miles for use later. The age-old philosophy of “One Airline, One Hotel Chain and One Credit Card” has yielded many “paid for holidays” for customers.

However, in the case of Air India, when the time comes for redemption of these miles, painfully collected over a period of time, the horror starts.

It is impossible to get through to the customer service line for redemption of points. I have wasted hours on the phone, listening to how important I am as a customer. Air India is the only call centre where they give the waiting time in 30 second slots. It is also the only waiting line where the time keeps increasing and the number of the people in the queue, ahead of the caller, keeps increasing.
When one does manage to get through the call drops or is disconnected, only to start all over again. I have spent 88 minutes holding, waiting for a customer service agent, in 3 separate calls and was still not able to speak to an agent!

The only way to get a ticket is to make a trip to the local Air India office. This is another frustrating experience. The Air India staff actually believes that they are doing the passenger a favour because the tickets are against miles and not paid tickets.
 
Be prepared to wait for several hours because either the “concerned person” is not available or “the system is down” or “Mumbai staff is away for lunch” etc. The standard response from the counter staff is “please sit down and we will call you”. Spending 3 to 4 hours is a standard norm at an Air India office to get a redemption ticket.

There is another aspect which has been surprising for me. If the flight time has changed, Air India cancels the confirmed seats without any reference or communication to the customer. What would have happened to customers who have reached their destination and have suddenly realised they don't have tickets to fly back home.

Finally, Air India cancels a flight and simply sends an SMS. Who cares about the passengers who may have planned urgent trips and who is bothered about the money that may have been lost for hotel bookings? Definitely not Air India or its “customer service” staff.

 

Having flown several different airlines over the last few decades, Air India’s frequent flyer program is definitely the most challenging and has the most difficult customer service agents.

 

Instead of treating a frequent flyer as a valued customer Air India treats them as a nuisance value.

 

If the Tatas are to attract Indians to start travelling again with them, this is one department that needs serious looking into and correcting.

 

 

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The author is a CEO Coach, a Storyteller and an Angel Investor. He hosts the highly successful podcast titled The Brand Called You. A keen political observer and commentator, he is also the founder Chairman of Guardian Pharmacies. He is the author of 7 best-selling books and writes for several online newspapers.

 

Watch and listen to our podcasts at www.tbcy.in | www.equationcoaching.com

 

Twitter: @gargashutosh

Instagram: ashutoshgarg56

Blog: ashutoshgargin.wordpress.com | ashutoshgarg56.blogspot.com

 

Brand You - Be Honest with Yourself

 

Understanding the way people perceive you is critical before you can start working on enhancing your personal brand.

Even the best-known persons need someone who can guide and mentor them as they build their own personal brand.

It is well acknowledged that, Zuckerberg needed Jobs, Gates needed Buffet and Mandela needed Gandhi. Each relationship had a strong reason to exist and the younger person saw a mentor or a guide in the other. 

Think of the people who have helped you face your own mirror and helped you along with your career. The mirror that the other person provides makes you become honest with yourself.

Unless you are brutally honest with yourself, you will not be able to get the right response to your own perception. If you perceive yourself as mediocre, use this as your starting point to build your brand.

For you, there is only way.

Up.

On the other hand, if you are doing exceptionally well and are well recognised, your challenge will be to stay where you are and take steps to try to keep moving forward from the exalted position you already occupy.

It is easy to get to the top of the pack. It is easy to get to the top. The challenge is to stay there.

Some steps you can take to understand your perceptions about yourself are outlined below.

1.    Ask for feedback

Feedback is the best form of bridging the gap between perception and reality.

No one likes criticism or negative feedback and you will not be any different. Taking honest feedback requires guts. It requires courage to face reality. You need to brace yourself to hear comments that you will definitely not like.

Ask for clarification and probe for more information on the feedback you receive.

You will get more information if you ask “Do you think the audience received my presentation as informative? Were they engaged during my presentation? Why or why not?” instead of simply asking a question “How was my presentation?”

The first question may get you some honest feedback but the second question is general and non-specific. You will generally evoke a response stating “your presentation was okay.” This is possibly what you wanted to hear when you asked the question!

Discussing your feedback, especially of you do not agree with what has been said is important.

 2.    Listen when you are receiving unsolicited feedback

Very few people take the trouble to give you feedback.

When I founded Guardian Pharmacy, I used to insist that all customer feedback was sent to me and I made it a point to respond to every customer complaint myself. I always told our team members that only a concerned customer will take the trouble to give us feedback. Most customers simply walk away from the brand since they have many other choices.

Think of how often you have thought “He loves to listen to his own voice.”

Most people believe that listening is an art when they are speaking because they want to be heard. However, they do not practice listening when it comes to hearing others speak!

This unsolicited feedback will be harsh and may make you cringe. But this will be true and whether you agree with it or not, you are being told how you are being perceived. Negative feedback, if taken in the correct spirit, will help you to course correct and move towards building Brand You and take it to places you may not have dreamed of.

 3.    Have someone you trust ask for feedback on your behalf

Many of us are uncomfortable asking for feedback directly from someone else.

At the same time, the person you want feedback from may hesitate to speak to you directly either because he is afraid of your reaction or simply feels awkward to speak out.

This simple challenge of getting feedback can be handled by requesting a friend or a colleague to take the feedback and communicate to you.

Often, when it comes to the work place, feedback becomes a challenge especially if a boss is looking for feedback from a subordinate. A subordinate – boss relationship, at the best of times could be tenuous and when it comes to feedback time, the subordinate will hesitate and will need to be assured repeatedly.

Though most organisations have annual and semi-annual appraisals for giving feedback, I have always believed in giving regular and ongoing feedback. Working together will be much easier and more effective if your subordinate knows where he or she stands rather than be told at the end of six or twelve months what they did right and what they did not.

At each stage in your journey towards building your personal brand, you need honest and constructive feedback to course correct as often as may be required.

 4.    Have a “360 review” done

A 360 review is a survey of people you work with such as your manager, colleagues, business partners, clients and those you manage. You can ask people to tell you your strengths and weaknesses. The 360 review focuses more directly on the skills and contributions that an employee makes.

The goal of the feedback is to provide a balanced view to an employee of how others view his or her contribution and performance in areas such as leadership, teamwork, interpersonal communication, management, contribution, work habits, accountability, vision, and more, depending on the employee's job.

When you are looking at feedback for your personal brand, you could consider doing a 360 review with your family and friends as well. Set up the questions with the help of an expert and then ask for feedback.

Tell them you are doing it for personal development and encourage them to give you constructive feedback.

There will be some feedback you accept immediately and some which you do not. As discussed earlier in this chapter, it is also important to discuss your feedback to understand the reasons.

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The author is a CEO Coach, a Storyteller and an Angel Investor. He hosts the highly successful podcast titled The Brand Called You. A keen political observer and commentator, he is also the founder Chairman of Guardian Pharmacies. He is the author of 7 best-selling books and writes for several online newspapers.

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